"Yeah, right. You spend the night doing scrabble, I suppose?" No Ms. McNair," I replied. "We spent the night cuddling and sleeping." Yeah, right!" she smirked. "And you paid her for it!" I did not, and you know it!" I replied - stung and starting to get angry."Well, I didn't buy the slut's outfit and she didn't pay for it herself either," she bellowed.I was about to fire an angry retort, but Fran stopped me. "George, please," she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Ignore it, don't answer her. I'll be OK. If you stay arguing with her it will only get worse."Reluctantly I left, but my heart was breaking for Fran. She told me the next morning that the verbal abuse had carried on for hours. At one stage Fran had been battered into admitting that we had been touching each other - she couldn't bring herself to talk about the oral sex - but was adamant that we had never had intercourse. Her mother had called her a liar and Fran had replied that they could go and get a doctor to confirm. The percolator finally finished its bubbling and hissing, and Sheila asked her guests how they took their coffee.Catriona's reply was a straightforward 'Black, please.'Alastair, on the other hand, put on a dreadful fake accent that purported to be from the American Deep South, but failed miserably."Ah like mah kawfee like ah like mah wimmin; hot, black, sweet and strong!" Alastair!" Yes dear?" Behave!" Me dear? What am I doing wrong? I was just answering Sheila's question!" You were being rude and pretentious!" Pretentious? Moi?"We laughed at the old joke. Catriona rolled her eyes and addressed her hostess."I'm so sorry, Sheila! He's clearly hoping for a row, so we can enjoy the kissing and making up later. Alastair, as you are already in disgrace with me, you might as well get your funeral plans out in the open as well, and then I shan't be worrying about being embarrassed again tonight, because you'll have gone through all your party pieces!"Adrian wasn't sure that he had heard her.
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